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Title : World War Z
World War Z genre : Action, Drama, Horror, Science Fiction, Thriller
World War Z crew : Brad Pitt, Marco Beltrami, Ian Bryce, Debra James, Nigel Phelps, Jon Billington, Roger Barton, Jennifer Williams, Marc Forster, Matt Chesse
World War Z release date : 18 June 19 2 6
World War Z runtime : 116 Minutes
World War Z Crew : Brad Pitt, Marco Beltrami, Ian Bryce, Debra James, Nigel Phelps, Jon Billington, Roger Barton, Jennifer Williams, Marc Forster, Matt Chesse
World War Z movie cast :
Brad Pitt, Mireille Enos, Daniella Kertesz, James Badge Dale, Ludi Boeken, Matthew Fox, Fana Mokoena, David Morse, Elyes Gabel, Sterling Jerins
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Life for former United Nations investigator Gerry Lane and his family seems content. Suddenly, the world is plagued by a mysterious infection turning whole human populations into rampaging mindless zombies. After barely escaping the chaos, Lane is persuaded to go on a mission to investigate this disease. What follows is a perilous trek around the world where Lane must brave horrific dangers and long odds to find answers before human civilization falls. World War Z 2013 review : **Put's the Zzz in Zombie**

First time I saw it 3 odd years ago I was not impressed.

Decided to give it another go though today, which I wish I hadn't cause it was even worse and more dull than I remember.

Now when I say dull I don't necessarily mean that it lacks action (it has a bunch of scenes with action, and being that these zombies run superfast unlike the typical zombies in film and series perhaps even a bit more than the average) but lack of interesting characters or good actors and any sort of originality in script makes it a tired ride.

Brad Pitt is not necessarily a great actor but he seriously did his most barebones performance here, you were just on the run from zombies with cars flying over and all kinds of stuff but you barely show any sort of emotion? Borderline Steven Segal territory ocassionally, or at the very least Jean Claude Van Damme... But without the fighting skills.

So yeah not an impressive film.
As with most zombie movies the plot is rather contrived and unbelievable (even if you accept the existence of zombies) but if you want to watch zombie movies in the first place that is something that you are supposed to be immune to.

This is another variant of zombies being created by some virus and rapidly taking over most of the planet. As I said, the entire story is somewhat unbelievable. When I first read about zombies as a kid there was always some supernatural/magic stuff involved. I think I liked that “explanation” much better than the virus nonsense which just have too many holes in it. For example there is no way a virus could make human bodies roam around aimlessly inside a sterile laboratory for days without nutrition. Well, as I said, it is a zombie movie so one just have to get over these little issues.

As an action movie with zombies as the main adversary it is a fairly good movie. The action is solid, the special effects okay and the entire movie continues at a reasonably brisk pace. Pitt is also doing a decent job of his role. There are few of the other actors that are very memorable though. The scenes where the zombies pile onto each other to scale walls and even reach choppers are rather cool. The movie is not very gory for being a zombie movie. Whether that is a good thing or not depends on the viewer I guess. Personally I do not mind some gory stuff in zombie movies.

There are a few annoying parts which Hollywood always seem to have to throw in. For example, the world is on the brink of the apocalypse and Lane and his wife just doesn’t want to get involved. What the f…? Also why do people always let their kids wander away in situations where they really should keep track of them? Not to mention how clumsy people always get when they have to sneak around and be silent. These things are just annoying.

Anyway, this movie fulfils its purpose as two hours of action-filled but not too intelligent entertainment quite well.

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Title : Now You See Me
Now You See Me genre : Thriller, Crime
Now You See Me crew : Bobby Cohen, Robert Leighton, Brian Tyler, Steve Boeddeker, Steve Boeddeker, Ed Solomon, Thomas Valentine, Alex Kurtzman, Roberto Orci, Larry Fong
Now You See Me release date : 10 May 19 3 2
Now You See Me runtime : 116 Minutes
Now You See Me Crew : Bobby Cohen, Robert Leighton, Brian Tyler, Steve Boeddeker, Steve Boeddeker, Ed Solomon, Thomas Valentine, Alex Kurtzman, Roberto Orci, Larry Fong
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Lot's of FX and no story. Flat characters and poorly told.
Best magical movie ever definitely my number two movie of all time number one being Armageddon.the four horsemen couldent have been played by better actors and actress.isla fisher is awesome.😃
The closer you think you are, the less you'll actually see.

Now You See Me is directed by Louis Leterrier and collectively written by Ed Solomon, Boaz Yakin and Edward Ricourt. It stars Jesse Eisenberg, Mark Ruffalo, Woody Harrelson, Isla Fisher, Dave Franco, Mélanie Laurent, Morgan Freeman, Michael Caine and Michael Kelly. Music is by Brian Tyler and cinematography by Mitchell Amundsen and Larry Fong.

An F.B.I. Agent and an Interpol Detective are tracking a team of illusionists who appear to be pulling off bank heists during their performances. Real magic? Or elaborate criminology?.

We are in the realm of the fantastical, where illusions and impossible tricks reside. It's a nifty backdrop to this splendidly flashy slice of misdirection hokum. Our four magicians, each with their own personal skills - and calling themselves "The Four Horsemen" - enact a number of elaborate stage shows that has all members of the law baffled.

Their rich benefactor played by Caine, is smug about his charges, Freeman is the myth buster trying to unearth the secrets of the "four", while the cops are constantly pulling their hair out. What does it all mean? How will it pan out at the end?. Well it's great fun, the tricks are expertly staged, the cast give gravitas to their respective characters, if only the big reveal at the end wasn't a bit too far out there...

There's a bit of a steal and a nod to another heist caper film, while that finale can make or break your overall opinion of the piece. Yet the journey is so enjoyable and intriguing, it's kind of forgivable anyway... 8/10

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Title : Despicable Me 2
Despicable Me 2 genre : Animation, Comedy, Family
Despicable Me 2 crew : Tom Johnson, Christopher Meledandri, Carter Goodrich, E.J. Holowicki, Robert Taylor, Dennis Leonard, Jim Passon, Carla Hool, Gregory Perler, Ken Daurio
Despicable Me 2 release date : 16 July 19 6 5
Despicable Me 2 runtime : 98 Minutes
Despicable Me 2 Crew : Tom Johnson, Christopher Meledandri, Carter Goodrich, E.J. Holowicki, Robert Taylor, Dennis Leonard, Jim Passon, Carla Hool, Gregory Perler, Ken Daurio
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The Purge crew : Michael Bay, Jim May, Edward Tise, Nacoma Whobrey, James DeMonaco, James DeMonaco, Andrew Form, Bradley Fuller, Marty Taylor, Lisa Fields
The Purge release date : 12 October 19 3 1
The Purge runtime : 86 Minutes
The Purge Crew : Michael Bay, Jim May, Edward Tise, Nacoma Whobrey, James DeMonaco, James DeMonaco, Andrew Form, Bradley Fuller, Marty Taylor, Lisa Fields
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Given the country's overcrowded prisons, the U.S. government begins to allow 12-hour periods of time in which all illegal activity is legal. During one of these free-for-alls, a family must protect themselves from a home invasion. The Purge 2013 review : It's the basic premise that makes _The Purge_ such a chilling watch and, thought you may see the thrills and scares coming from a mile away, it's the most interesting home-invasion thriller that I've seen in a very long time.
The core idea of a "purge" is interesting, but every single moment of "horror" or "thrill" in this film is a predictable jumpscare. It takes itself way too seriously and makes some heavy-handed social commentary, while at the same time being really unconvincing and riddled with tropes. Whenever one of the masked villains is on-screen you can count on them to silently tilt their head to the side, playfully skip with a weapon in hand, or giggle about killing.
The main concept and Lena Headey's acting bumped the rating up a little.

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Title : The Conjuring
The Conjuring genre : Horror, Thriller
The Conjuring crew : James Wan, Anne McCarthy, John R. Leonetti, Daniel Laurie, Rob Cowan, Carey Hayes, Chad Hayes, Walter Hamada, Peter Safran, Kirk M. Morri
The Conjuring release date : 18 May 19 4 2
The Conjuring runtime : 112 Minutes
The Conjuring Crew : James Wan, Anne McCarthy, John R. Leonetti, Daniel Laurie, Rob Cowan, Carey Hayes, Chad Hayes, Walter Hamada, Peter Safran, Kirk M. Morri
The Conjuring movie cast :
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The key with The Conjuring is not that it has freshness on its side, as evidenced by the ream of horror fans arguing on internet sites about "nothing new on the table" , but while those fans will be going hungry for a very, very long time, The Conjuring does everything right for the splinter of horror it deals with.

There's a lot to admire about a horror film that in this day and age stands tall and proud against the ream of remakes, sequels and teen friendly slashers that "haunt" the multiplexes with all too much frequency these days. Free of gore and sex, this was automatically going to alienate a good portion of the lustful members of the horror fan base, but for those who like their horror served with appetising scares and a cauldron of suspense, then this delivers plenty to your particular table.

Forget the "based on a true story" tag, since it's kind of irrelevant in this new technological age, it's a selling gimmick that actually means "this story might be true and we might have played with it a bit". Regardless of hoax charges and embellishments, just buy into the premise, commit to it as a scary story in the same way as director James Wan has, for then the rewards are there for the compliant.

Story essentially is based around an investigation in the early seventies by paranormal specialists Ed and Lorraine Warren, who aided the Perron family as they were victims of dreadful supernatural events at their Rhode Island home. Wan builds it deftly, letting us into the Perron families lives as they move into what they believe to be a dream home. Then things start to happen, but again Wan builds it in slow instances, creating a palpable sense of dread, his camera work intelligent. So when the big moments come they have maximum impact and have us also yearning for the Warren's to get involved.

There is no over killing of the boo-jump scares, they are placed with care and marry up superbly with the mounting tension. Naturally all the cliché conventions of the haunted house movie are here, strange smells, creaky doors, ominous cellar and etc, yet these are supplemented with Wan's talented knack for a good scare and a very effective production design. From mysterious bruises and literal leg pulls – breath holding games of hide and seek – to bona fide pant soiling moments, The Conjuring is a lesson in sustained unease until the big finale is unleashed.

The script is devoid of cheese and pointless filler, itself refreshing in a horror sub-genre that suffers often with these problems. Joseph Bishara's musical score is an absolute nerve shredder, and again it's a refreshing accompaniment because it doesn't resort to telegraphed shrieks to tell us to be afraid, it never overwhelms a scene. John Leonetti's cinematography has Gothic textures, both in the house and outside of the lakeside farmhouse, while the strong lead cast of Vera Farmiga, Patrick Wilson, Lili Taylor and Ron Livingston come up trumps for sure.

Met with critical and box office success, The Conjuring justifies its reputation as a superb haunted house movie. 9/10

The Conjuring is a fairly classical horror/haunted house/exorcism movie. That was pretty much what I was hoping for. Slow and creepy build up to a final outburst and confrontation with an evil entity. This is a good movie although it is not really something new in terms of story. It is fairly impossible not to think about, and make comparisons with, The Amityville Horror when seeing this movie. I do not think it really deserves the glowing 9 or 10 star ratings that I have seen but it certainly do not merit those 1 or 2 star ones either. What were these people expecting?

This is a solid effort of making a movie along the classical lines of supernatural possession. As I wrote, it is not really something new, but it is nice to see a new movie using this kind of story without just turning it into a CGI gore-feast. Sure, the movie also includes the traditional pitfalls that most horror movies apparently must have like people thinking it is a good idea to walk down into the dark and scary basement all alone in the middle of the night.

One thing that irked me with the movie though was the idea of phantoms and performing exorcism being presented as kind of normal and accepted things. Of the movie would have played itself out 70 or so years earlier maybe but in the 1970′s? It just felt somewhat surreal to see this “ghosthunter” make presentations and talk to people like supernatural entities and the practice of exorcism was just things that happened.

The we have the ending of course. Not that it was overly bad but christ, if you are going to do an exorcism then do it damn it. Do not stop the procedure and look lost every time something goes bump.

Anyway, I was not sure whether I was going to be disappointed or pleased when sitting down to watch this movie. On the whole I was pleased. It was a nice to watch a movie that was going back to the traditional values in horror movie making and it was as well implemented as one could expect.
I'm a fan of Wan, and while I must say I believe that _The Conjuring_ is pretty severely overrated, it's also one of the best horror films to have hit the mainstream in the past few years.

_Final rating:★★½ - Had a lot that appealed to me, didn’t quite work as a whole._

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An Alaska State Trooper partners with a young woman who escaped the clutches of serial killer Robert Hansen to bring the murderer to justice. Based on actual events. The Frozen Ground 2013 review : RELEASED IN 2013 and written & directed by Scott Walker, "The Frozen Ground" is a crime thriller based on the true story of Alaskan serial killer Robert Hansen, who raped, tortured and killed numerous young women from 1971-1983. Vanessa Hudgens plays a 17 year-old prostitute who successfully escaped from Hansen (John Cusack). Nicolas Cage plays the trooper who establishes a relationship with her as he zeroes-in on Hansen.

This has elements like “Kiss the Girls” (1997), “The Flock” (2007) and “Hardcore” (1979). If you like those crime thrillers, you’ll appreciate this one. The Anchorage locations are perpetually overcast, but breathtaking and foreboding. Cusack is notable as the average-looking killer and Cage is stalwart as usual. The events take place in 1983 when anchorage was booming due to the pipeline and the ensuing sex industry. The scenes depicting the sleazy underbelly of the city (at that time) are well done and convincing.

THE MOVIE RUNS 1 hour 45 minutes and was shot entirely in Alaska.

GRADE: B
Very poorly edited and features some of the worst examples of Vanessa Hudgens acting to date (if there are good examples, I haven't seen them, but in _The Frozen Ground_ she is especially egregious.

No spoilers but I wonder if the real case this was based on wrapped up in the same way/for the same reason that this movie did, because if so... Jesus. What a tit.

_Final rating:★½: - Boring/disappointing. Avoid where possible._

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Title : Iron Man 3
Iron Man 3 genre : Action, Adventure, Science Fiction
Iron Man 3 crew : Zoë Bell, Shane Black, Shane Black, Sala Baker, John Toll, Louise Frogley, Sarah Halley Finn, Brian Tyler, Stan Lee, Stan Lee
Iron Man 3 release date : 11 August 19 2 3
Iron Man 3 runtime : 130 Minutes
Iron Man 3 Crew : Zoë Bell, Shane Black, Shane Black, Sala Baker, John Toll, Louise Frogley, Sarah Halley Finn, Brian Tyler, Stan Lee, Stan Lee
Iron Man 3 movie cast :
Robert Downey Jr., Gwyneth Paltrow, Guy Pearce, Don Cheadle, Rebecca Hall, Jon Favreau, Ben Kingsley, James Badge Dale, Stephanie Szostak, Paul Bettany
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When Tony Stark's world is torn apart by a formidable terrorist called the Mandarin, he starts an odyssey of rebuilding and retribution. Iron Man 3 2013 review : There can be many reasons why the original director of a franchise may decide not to return for a sequel, though they all usually have in common that they're very Hollywood-politically-correct. So exactly why Jon Favreau decided not to helm the third instalment of what is, for all intents and purposes, 'his baby' Iron Man, I can't be sure. But I can tell you one thing: something definitely changed.

Everything about IM3 feels different from its predecessors. The atmosphere is darker, which is not to say it's really just a lot less humorous (which is – let's be honest – precisely what we love about Iron Man). The new characters are terribly underdeveloped and overall it's just a great deal less interesting. The storyline was completely vague to me; I'm still not really sure what the whole point of it was. And probably the biggest flaw of all – the first two films had really cool, interesting villains. This one's just really quite weird and not charismatic at all. Possibly at the core of the problem is the fact that it wasn't just one bad guy, it was many. The leading roles are shared by Guy Pearce and Sir Ben Kingsley, and – big shock – it was the latter who disappointed me the most. Not only was his role quite small, I thought it was also incredibly lame. I'd love to explain to you why, but that would be a major spoiler. I noticed some people in the audience laughing at the plot twist of Kingsley's character, but I thought it was just completely stupid and weak, and a total waste of such a great actor. Pearce is not bad, but never really manages to elevate his villain to a higher level, largely because he had zero character development to work with. Same thing with Rebecca Hall. Or the rest of Pearce's cronies for that matter... Too many to count. Sigh.

Well, at least we still have Robert Downey Jr. He's as reliable as ever when it comes to carrying a film, but even he can't help it that his character is almost boring in this one. Where's the humour!? Where's the cynicism we all know and love?! Where's Tony bloody Stark! This is not the familiar overconfident, pompous macho we adore. All of a sudden, and for NO apparent reason whatsoever, this guy is insecure and suffering from anxiety attacks! What the F! Not to mention the fact that his superhero alter ego is almost completely absent for half of the film, because he's off somewhere in the middle of Tennessee finding himself or whatever... I mean, geez... I know the director left, but didn't any of the screenwriters return either? The fact that Pepper Potts had only about two minutes of relevant screen time also certainly didn't help. And when she was there, she was humourless and annoying. Big sigh.

The more I think about it, the more I'm having a hard time trying to think of good things to say about this film. At least the visual effects were solid, and the sound effects were awesome.

This was actually the first time I've seen a film in 3D. I've always avoided it because I was sure that it would be a complete distraction from the story. Turns out I was right in my assumption. I found it hard to focus on what was really going on, and this might have definitely been an influence in trying to follow the plot, so there's a big chance I missed a few things. Nevertheless, I can't help being very disappointed with Iron Man 3, especially since I love the first two so much.

This is definitely a filmmakers' case of "could've, would've, should've". They obviously tried very hard, but never quite manage to get there.

No story, no interesting characters, no filler. Nothing. Too bad.
_(June 2013)_
This was probably the first time a movie has made me this angry in the theater. It pissed me off then and it still pisses me off when it's on television. If I could summarize this film in one word, it would be: obnoxious. I wasn't really hyped for this film but I was expecting to have some fun since I did enjoy the previous Iron Man films. This was the movie that made me start to dislike the character of Tony Stark/Iron Man (RDJ is still the man though). Stark's narcissism had charm in the previous films but here, it made him into a complete idiot, dick, and coward. The Mandarin had potential to be an effective villain but the movie scraps him for a more lame villain than Justin Hammer from Iron Man 2. The comedy was forced and annoying and the story has plot holes that were distracting. I watched Thor 2 a while after this released but the taste from this movie was so bitter that even though I thought Thor 2 was alright, I just didn't want to see anymore films from this cinematic universe. This movie is what killed the MCU for me.
I have to say that I was somewhat disappointed by this third instalment of the Iron Man series of movies. Sure Robert Downey Jr. as Tony Stark is quite funny (not always but a lot of the time) and there are plenty of nice special effects and things being blown up.

However, the story is just crap. The premise of Killian using the Mandarin for terrorism to cover up the fact that his experiments occasionally fails is just ludicrous. The Mandarin himself is a joke and another good example of how ignorant script writers just pick names out of existing material and uses them not caring how much they screw up established characters and world building already done. Whoever wrote this script should be ashamed of himself.

What is worse, the entire movie is very anti-Iron-Man. It starts right of with Stark being obsessed by his Iron Man suits and a lot of harping about him stopping being Iron Man. Most of the time Stark is running around without his suit and the few times he is in it then the suit does not work properly or is shot off him almost immediately. Actually, most of Stark’s cool stuff is just shot to hell most of the time.

The end is full of fireworks but again, it is mostly a display in how you can destroy Iron Man suits and some more anti-Iron-Man crap.

I cannot say that I did not enjoy watching the fireworks and special effects but as a whole I am disappointed with this movie.
**A long form review originally posted in 2013**

_Iron Man 3_ brings us into the so called “Phase 2” of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. But it does so in a flawed way. I’ve said it before and reiterate it here, there is no such thing as a perfect film. But since _The Avengers_ set the bar so very high, following that up proved to simply be too much for Black’s entry to handle.

There are a great deal of inconstancies, plot holes, stupid moves, illogical choices, and weak moments (though less than much of the internet would have you believe). These issues are not enough to lead to _Iron Man 3’s_ complete and utter downfall, but they do force a sour taste into the piece overall.

This isn’t to say it’s a bad movie though. In fact it’s actually quite good. It surpasses the quality of _Iron Man 2_ and plants itself firmly in the MCU rather successfully. A move which only _The Incredible Hulk_ failed to make, but still. Yes it has its problems, yes we’d hoped for better, and yes I’ve got complaints, but the movie is not at all a failure. Manages to come full circle in a way that still leaves Tony Stark & Iron Man a future in the Marvel Universe.

Shane Black and Drew Pearce manage to bring in a sense of vulnerability that was barely touched on in the past MCU works. Even the minuscule Steve Rogers of _Captain America_ seemed in control of every situation. But here we see Tony Stark as not only a breakable man, but a man in general. The most human of any Super Hero appearance in the MCU to date. Yes the Robert Downey Jr. wit that all have come to expect from the piece is still on the table, but in between and beneath that there’s an insomniac with extreme anxiety disorders living separated from the real world, too invested in his work and shattered identity to live as the Stark everyone expects him to still be.

Pepper and Rhodey are even given a chance to pick up the slack. The three form this sort of protagonist trinity, Saving one another in a round-robin Super Hero-y way with a little more depth than I’d expected.

The _Iron Man_ movies famously have had the most disappointing bad-guy-show-downs in the genre. And though here Black gives us much more of a delivery on this front than Favreau ever did, the issues I had with _Iron Man 3_ came (almost) exclusively from A.I.M, the Mandarin and Extremis (which form the antagonist trinity now that I think of it).

So, we’ve got better a better final confrontation, but from less integral bad guys. A more human hero, stuck in a less human adventure. A better interlocking of characters, with less to do on screen. I could go on with this roller coaster, but that word essentially sums up the film. Not in that its a cliched “thrill ride”, but in that it’s a constant mess of ups and downs, with the final destination just barely justifying the start point.

Speaking non-comparitively, _Iron Man 3_ makes a good movie. Not great. But so very, very worth the watch. It’s hard for me to think objectively separate from the other films in the MCU, because I’ve seen them all so many times that there’s no way for me to forget all that’s come before when watching the movie. I’d be interested to hear from somebody who’s watched _Iron Man 3_, but not _Iron Man 1_ & _2_ or _The Avengers_. I’m sure such a person exists somewhere, and if so your input would be greatly appreciated.

I think I might have made it seem as if I disliked Iron Man 3 more than I actually did. Here’s why. From _Iron Man 2_ until _The Avengers_, I watched all the MCU films in cinemas. After each one, I immediately got that feeling of wanting to go back and watch it again, a feeling that steadily grew as time passed. Each film that Marvel released had me feeling this more strongly than the last, culminating in _The Avengers_ which I saw six times in theatres, and immediately pre-ordered the whole set on Blu-Ray the moment it became available (I bought a PS3 for the sole purpose of watching them). But with _Iron Man 3_ I sort of dropped back to a pretty low interest level once I’d left Hoyts. It seemed that although it was a really good watch, it just didn’t have the staying power I’d come to expect from these incredible Super Hero films.

67%

-_Gimly_
I don't understand the hate for this one. The fact that Tony Stark is barely in the suit makes for an interesting take on analyzing the humanity of the character. I also found the villain plot twist halfway through the movie to be quite clever and surprisingly satisfying.

It certainly feels more like a Shane Black movie than an Iron Man movie, but that's a great thing. It shows Marvel is willing to give their filmmakers a voice and the room to take risks in their storytelling. Iron Man 3 is a very risky movie, and to me it paid off.
When I first saw this in 2013, strongly disliked it but decided to give it another watch during my re-visit of the MCU and... kind of enjoyed it, quite a bit. Still not fond of the twist wasting a great actor in Ben Kingsley to be a decoy Mandarin and instead having a cheesy one with Guy Pearce's Aldrich Killian and his lame "I AM THE MANDORIAN!" line. But all in all, a good step up from Iron Man 2. **3.75/5**
Very good.

'Iron Man 3' offers an entertaining 130 minutes. I enjoyed seeing the plot unfold, it isn't anything revolutionarily fresh but it's done in a way that's interesting to watch. The score and effects are great.

Robert Downey Jr. continues to be a lot of fun as the lead, while Don Cheadle is more enjoyable than he is in 'Iron Man 2'. Guy Pearce and Ben Kingsley are good to watch too, the latter amused me more than I thought he would.

I'd rank this higher than the 2010 sequel, though it's still a fair distance off the original. This 2013 film leaves a positive impression.

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Title : The ABCs of Death
The ABCs of Death genre : Horror
The ABCs of Death crew : Simon Boswell, Xavier Gens, Angela Bettis, Andrew Starke, Jake West, Jake West, Noboru Iguchi, Noboru Iguchi, Andrew Traucki, Simon Barrett
The ABCs of Death release date : 4 September 19 8 2
The ABCs of Death runtime : 123 Minutes
The ABCs of Death Crew : Simon Boswell, Xavier Gens, Angela Bettis, Andrew Starke, Jake West, Jake West, Noboru Iguchi, Noboru Iguchi, Andrew Traucki, Simon Barrett
The ABCs of Death movie cast :
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An ambitious anthology film featuring segments directed by over two dozen of the world's leading talents in contemporary genre film. Inspired by children's educational ABC books, the film comprises 26 individual chapters, each helmed by a different director assigned a letter of the alphabet. The directors were then given free reign in choosing a word to create a story involving death. The ABCs of Death 2013 review : This is my third pass at writing down my thoughts on The ABCs of Death. The first pass - as soon as I'd seen it - was almost completely negative, which in the light of day probably wasn't fair. The second pass was too positive; it just wasn't true. All I know for sure from both is that I want to rate it 3/5 AND label it: "Recommended". This review is going to be similarly all-over-the-place, which I guess is entirely apt for a film as scattershot as this one.

Essentially: 25 directors from all corners of the globe (plus one competition winner) were assigned a letter of the alphabet and tasked with making a short film - five minutes or so, give-or-take - relating to the letter of the alphabet to which they'd been assigned and to the subject of death (according to one of the entries - Adam Wingard's Q - they were assigned a budget of $5000 each although how true that is, I don't know). Beyond that, each director has free reign over what form their short takes. And that's it. There's no wraparound tale (V/H/S), no arcing narrative running through the stories (Trick 'R Treat), no recurring characters (Pulp Fiction) or motifs (Coffee & Cigarettes).

It should go without saying of course that this leads to wildly differing results, not only in terms of content but in terms of success as well. That's true of any anthology piece but it's even more acute here given a) the incredibly short time allotted to each piece and b) the "A, B, C..." nature of the film which prevents the film's producers Ant Timpson and Tim League from placing the shorts in an order that might build a momentum, leaving the best 'til last (in fact, the very worst comes last, of which more later). The bad entries - and there are more than enough - are SO bad that it almost derails the entire movie. As I said, last night having just watched it I felt very negatively about the whole experience. However, there ARE some good entries and even a few great ones, and... well, let's just go through them (I'm not going to name them by title since one or two titles - which are only revealed at the end of each short, not at the beginning - represent pretty decent plot reveals in their own right, so to print them here would constitute a spoiler. I'll just refer to them by their letter):

"A", "B" & "C" - The movie's off to a strong start with three Spanish-language tales from Spain, Argentina and Chile respectively; "A" kicking things off in start-as-we-mean-to-go-on gory fashion about a woman attacking her husband, the context around which is not given to us until the very end, "B" about a fairy tale that may not be as fictional as the protagonists suppose and "C" about a Twilight Zone-style time-travel paradox.

"D" - From Marcel Sarmiento (Deadgirl), this dialogue-free piece about a scuzzy backsreet illegal-gambling fight 'twixt a man and a ferocious Labrador (I know, I know, but trust me) is rightly garnering praise all around the internetz as the best piece of the bunch. That this short is in the same movie as some of the poorer later efforts is an affront to good moviemaking, really. It deserves better. At this stage, The ABCs of Death is absolutely rocking.

"E" - A slightly lighter, Creepshow-style effort here about a guy trying to rid himself of a rather persistent spider. Many of us can relate. Decent entry. We're in really good shape at this point.

"F", "J" & "Z" - I've lumped these together since they're all from Japanese directors attached to the Sushi Typhoon production company, and if that means anything to you then you'll know what to expect from these entries and whether you're going to love them or absolutely loathe them (there's little middle ground; it's essentially all latex-heavy "zany" super-bizarre splatter/humour. Ever seen any of Peter Jackson's early films? Bad Taste, Brain Dead and the like? That, x 10,000). Personally, I detested them. "F", by Noboru Iguchi, a man who used to make adult specialist fetish videos for the Japanese porn market (example titles: Real Beautiful Young Lady Stools: Lolita Lavatory and Beautiful Girl Excretion School, both of which point to some degree towards "F"'s subject matter) and about a girl who would rather inhale the... um, gases of her lesbian crush than those of a toxic volcano which has belched poisonous fumes into the air, killing everyone, was so shockingly poor - although my girlfriend laughed out loud at it - that even though it was the first truly weak entry in The ABCs of Death, it soured me and altered my stance on the film for the remaining duration of the movie. "J" - about what appears at first to be one man putting another off his stride by pulling funny faces - was easily the best and most restrained of these three, but it was still unimpressive. "Z" - by Yoshihiro Nishimura (Tokyo Gore Police), a highly-regarded writer/director and effects artist in Japan - is arguably the shittest thing I've ever seen. God knows what it's about, it's one of those sorts of films. What I CAN tell you is that there's a naked bitch shooting root vegetables out of her cunny at another naked bitch with a huge inflatable cock (complete with breadknife cock-eye attachment), whilst some guy apeing Peter Sellers' Dr. Strangelove character watches on. With his cock out. I'm making it sound miles better than it is, it's truly dreadful.

"G" - First-person-perspective film about a guy who goes surfing. From Aussie director Andrew Traucki, he correctly guessed that everyone would go over-the-top with their efforts and decided to go the other way. More thoughtful, gore-free, more contemplative. Unfortunately he went TOO far. It feels unfinished, and dull. Possibly the most forgettable entry in the film.

"H" - A bizarre live-action cartoon from Norwegian director Thomas Malling (Norwegian Ninja) featuring a WWII Allied forces bulldog falling for the wily charms of a writhing Nazi pussycat in a burlesque club. Cue eyes out on stalks and tongues rolling out of mouths like carpets in full Looney-Tunes style. Meh.

"I" & "R" - I'm lumping these together not because they're connected at all but because, to me, they're both similar inasmuch as they're clearly very well made and photographed, there is clearly talent here, but IMO they both represented wasted opportunities. "I", by Mexican Jorge Michel Grau, lacked sufficient context around its central image of a woman tied up inside an empty bath while a possibly apprehensive man injects her with... something. "R", from A Serbian Film's Srdjan Spasojevic about some sort of hulking prisoner whose skin when peeled by his captors turns into reels of film (I think) is obviously saying something to me in very blunt subtext, but I guess I'm too stupid to get it.

"K" & "T" - Two animated shorts, both toilet-related. "K" - a cartoon about a woman trying to flush a sh*t she's just taken - didn't do it for me at all although again, my gf laughed, but "T" - a claymation effort and the entry which won it's place on The ABCs of Death via a competition as opposed to being a piece entered by a director who'd been invited to participate - is surprisingly good, concerning a toddler's fears over graduating from the potty to the grown-up bathroom.

"L" - Powerful and disturbing entry from Indonesia, centering around sexual perversion and... um, performance, let's say. Some scenes - thankfully just off-camera - are among the most upsetting of the movie. Well made, glad I saw it, don't imagine I'll watch it again anytime soon.

"M" - Looking around numerous sites, this entry from Ti West (House of the Devil, The Innkeepers, V/H/S segment: Second Honeymoon) appears to have polarised people, some suggesting that it's one of the more powerful entries, it sticks with the viewer and it's typical (in the good way) of West's output; basically, nothingshappenningit'sallabitdullandthenBANG! All-of-a-sudden, a kick to the bags right at the end, others deriding it as lazy, and even an insult to the project. I agree with the former argument although I understand the latter, West's entry being easily the shortest of these shorts, and the most uneventful. If they really WERE given five grand each to make these films, Ti West must have trousered most of it. His piece could've been done on a fiver. Still, where some have seen that as an affront, I see it as pretty cool that the director can still pack the same trademark wallop on so very little. You'll note I haven't mentioned what it's about, but it's honestly so short that I can't; to say anything at all is to spoil it. Um, a woman needs to use a plunger. How about that? That's as much as I'm saying.

"N" - A comedy piece centering around a parrot that won't shut up - ever seen that episode of Frasier where Niles' parrot won't shut up? Same shtick here, pretty much - from Thai director Banjong Pisanthanakun (Shutter). Light and undemanding, not a great piece by any means but a welcome bit of relief that for once has managed to BE light without being zany or bizarre.

"O" - I'm going to "spoil" this one since it has no discernible plot as such anyway: "O" is for "Orgasm", and it's a waste of time which most closely resembles one of those pretentious and abstract perfume commercials that clog up the TV around Christmas time. I fully expected someone to growl "Chanel. Eau de Parfum" in voiceover at the end. Rubbish.

"P" - Dialogue-free, quick-cut, gritty and well shot piece from British director Simon Rumley (Club le Monde) about a woman doing... well, what she needs to to pay the bills. Ooh, my girlfriend didn't like this one.

"Q" & "W" - Two "meta" entries, both concerning the tribulations of the directors themselves as they struggle with what to do as the subject of their short film for The ABCs of Death. And they couldn't be more different, Adam Windgard's (You're Next, V/H/S segment: Tape 56) "Q" being a light, self-deprecating and humourous tale of Adam's attempts to "actually" kill an animal on his segment, and Jon Schnepp's (Metalocalypse, from [Adult Swim]) "W" being, well, an absolute mess. In fact, sod it, I'm going to spoil this one too; "W" is for "WTF", and I suspect that's because the director f*cked up his random collage of goofy splatter images so badly that even he couldn't make hide nor hair of it by the end. Coming as close to the end of the film as this does and in tandem with the similarly unwatchable "Z", these shorts are what sour the film almost irretrievably, and probably explain why I was so very negative immediately upon having seen it.

"S" - From British director Jake West (Doghouse), what appears to be a purposely retro, washed-out, poorly-acted car chase involving Death himself becomes... something else. I really liked this one, once it had played out. Very good.

"U" - A final-reel fight scene told from the monster's perspective, made by Kill List director Ben Wheatley and reuniting Kill List stars Neil Maskell & Michael Smiley. Nothing wrong with it but I came away disappointed anyway. That was probably down to my expectations for this one though.

"V" - from Canadian writer/artist Kaare Andrews, and you can tell that this man specialises in superhero comic books. Another mis-step, this one, although this time it's an honest mistaken attempt to make his micro-budget spread over an ambitious futuristic action sequence featuring robots, mutants and Robocop-sized gunplay. At least it was a stab at something substantial, though. Too many of these directors just decided they couldn't tell a tale with the time/budget restraints, and went bizarre/abstract instead.

"X" - From French director Xavier Gens (Frontier(s), Hitman), this is a brutal, grisly and memorable piece about an overweight woman, mocked constantly for her weight (or at least, perceiving herself as being mocked; whatever they may think, grown adults aren't generally as in-your-face cruel as this womans tormentors are as she commutes to her apartment), who decides that she really wants to lose weight. Like, NOW.

"Y" - From Jason Eisener (Hobo with a Shotgun, a film I thought was great the first time I saw it, a little tedious the second time and just poor the third time), this really pretty good dialogue-free tale of a creepy school janitor with an unhealthy interest in the young boys within is marred for me by the same purposely retro red/green saturated lighting and hokey eighties synth soundtrack which served initially as such a successful parody/homage in Hobo with a Shotgun but which was maybe SO effective that it ended up being hard to tolerate. In this short, these things just detract from what is, as I said, a decent tale.

Phew! Well, there you have it. A very mixed bag of a movie, and ultimately I think one who's ambition overstretches its limited reach. 26 tales is just TOO much, both for the filmmakers who can't do enough with the time allotted AND the viewers, for whom 26 shorts - some incredibly grisly, some in shockingly poor taste - represents a trial of endurance. Because of these fundamental flaws and because of the numerous meh-to-poor-to-absolute-dogsh*t short films on display here I can't possibly mark The ABCs of Death too highly, but because of the superior, more memorable pieces I nevertheless have to recommend that you see it for yourselves. At the very least, if there's something you don't like there'll be something completely different to look at in a few minutes.
“Horrible just horrible”

Basically this movie was made with the help of 26 alphabets in English each alphabet will make a way a person dies. In each of the 26 movies all were disgusting, horrible, filthy and complete nonsense. Talk about people dying due to farts, poop or by masturbating. Some scenes literally made me vomit. There was not one movie out this bunch of short films which was interesting or made some sense it was like this movies were made by directors who were drunk. I just wanted the movie to get over and I highly regretted that I watched it. If there was rating below zero I would have given that.

Won’t suggest this movie to anyone please stay away from this.

Notable Acting

Nobody these movies were complete nonsense.

My Rating 0/10

The ABCs of Death trailer

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